like the stars we burn forever
by LBx
Summary: A collection of Hotsuma/Shuusei shorts.
1. kiss and make up

**i.**

He'll wonder later how they got here tonight, spread out under the stars with souls laid bare. Hotsuma knows that fights with Shuusei are always meaningless, more about an explosion of tension than any particular issue. But he gets a thrill from the tussle all the same, relishing his ability to always come out on top; to know that finding Shuusei pinned beneath him is a constant in this life, since the day Master Rou began training them. Except sometimes, in the aftermath, Hotsuma wonders if he hasn't been too rough - if tomorrow there won't be bruises blossoming across Shuusei's skin, further proof of how Hotsuma always imprints his touch in the most violent of ways.

Here and now, the balcony is hard beneath his knees and Shuusei must feel the evening chill along his entire back, sprawled out as he is beneath Hotsuma on the concrete. But neither of them move, except for when Shuusei leans up and cups a hand around Hotsuma's cheek, a silent affirmation, _I'm all right_.

Absently, Hotsuma leans into the touch; closes his eyes and kisses the thin skin on the underside of Shuusei's wrist. Hotsuma isn't good with words but he's lived enough lifetimes to appreciate these quiet moments. There's poetry here, in the soft crease of Shuusei's eyes, visible under the brush of side swept bangs. And Hotsuma marvels at how tightly wound their souls are, that each kiss feels like a communion - words unnecessary when so much can be conveyed through actions alone.

"Hotsuma."

The rasp in Shuusei's normally schooled voice sends a shiver down Hotsuma's spine. He kisses his way along the veins of Shuusei's forearm, eyes fluttering open when Shuusei shifts beneath him. And here, with the tables turned, it'd be easy to act a tease - to draw things out until Shuusei couldn't bear it. Except when he meets Shuusei's gaze, Hotsuma is the one struck by the intensity there - cheeks flushing hot and sending him down into the safety of Shuusei's shoulder, where he can hide from the gravity of things between them.

Shuusei's fingers find him anyway, directing Hotsuma by his chin until their mouths meet again. "You shouldn't start what you don't intend to finish," murmurs Shuusei, tone foreboding. Hotsuma ignores the warning and tries to sink deeper into the kiss, craving any contact Shuusei is willing to give. But Shuusei pushes him off with a light hand, mouth quirked into an amused smile.

"I'm still angry with you," he says, but the words lack any of their previous bite. The conflict, whatever it was, has already fled from Hotsuma's mind; senses muddled and heart thundering in his chest.

Shuusei contemplates him for a minute, hand coming up again to rest along the curve of Hotsuma's jaw. "If you're good," Shuusei says finally, "I'll let you sleep in my room tonight." Hotsuma makes a face, prepared to point out how juvenile that deal is, but Shuusei raises an eyebrow and asks, "Isn't that what you want?"

And well, maybe it is.

"You won't kick me out?" Hotsuma questions, incredulous. "Even if I steal the sheets?"

"Even if you steal the sheets," Shuusei repeats with a solemn nod.

Hotsuma hums thoughtfully. "Even if I snore?"

"Even if you snore."

"Even if I-"

Shuusei frowns, voice growing sharp. "Hotsuma."

Knowing he's pushed enough, Hotsuma grins and leans in to steal a final kiss. "One and only, remember?" He quips as they part, pushing himself up off the ground. And he can't help the cheeky tone as he saunters off toward the bath with a wave, calling, "You're stuck with me, Shuusei!"

When he glances back, Shuusei is watching him with a look so undeniably fond that Hotsuma knows all is forgiven.


	2. waiting

**ii. Set during chapter 41**

The rain begins with little warning. Hotsuma lets out a shout of surprise, throwing a protective hand up over his head and beckoning for Shuusei to follow as he sprints down the garden path. As they move, Shuusei catches traces of greed and arrogance – human emotions that are out of place amongst the spiritual pulse of the shrine, laying to rest any suspicion that mountain gods are behind the string of thefts.

Shuusei isn't shocked by his discovery, but he feels a twinge of sadness all the same. Guests of Izayoi Tower Inn are well-meaning; nothing more than hopeless romantics. While their methods may be contrived, Shuusei understands their craving for a lifelong companion only too well.

"It's ironic, isn't it?" Shuusei asks, breaking the silence that fell when they ducked into a gazebo for cover. Hotsuma gives him a sideways glance, waiting for Shuusei to further reveal his thoughts. "It's just- the love shrine, and the red string of fate. Why is everyone driven to find the other half of their soul?"

Hotsuma folds his arms and leans against the side of the gazebo, watching the rain. "Gives me the creeps," he mutters softly, echoing his sentiment from earlier. "All this hocus pocus romance - red strings or duras' potions, it's all the same in the end."

"It gives people hope," Shuusei suggests, but Hotsuma just scoffs.

"What does _hope_ get you? Sitting around, waiting for someone to notice ya' instead of taking action. Making yourself vulnerable to _quacks_ who promise the moon for nothing in return."

Hotsuma's words are harsh, but Shuusei knows this is the philosophy by which his partner lives. He's borne witness to it, in the brusque yet kind way that Hotsuma rejected Yoshino's confession; how Hotsuma's instinct is always to act before thinking, drawn along by his emotions. Whether Hotsuma's honesty is fool-hardy or courageous is open to debate, but Shuusei envies his partner's unwavering sincerity.

"What if a girl tied a string on the tree for you?" Shuusei asks curiously, leaning forward on the gazebo railing. He holds an open palm out under the rain, a futile attempt to catch some of the water in his hand. "You wouldn't appreciate the sentiment?"

"There's no _sentiment,_ " Hotsuma snaps, expression clouded. "Any girl hiding behind magic tricks is-"

"What if _I_ tied a red string on there for you?" interrupts Shuusei, keeping his tone light and musing, attention still focused on the impossible task of capturing the rain. He means it as a joke but the reaction from Hotsuma is almost immediate; mouth clamping shut and eyes averted, silence stretching between them again.

Shuusei settles into the pause, closing his eyes as his clairvoyance roams. The wood beneath his touch whispers tales of forlorn hearts, perfectly in tune with Shuusei's own melancholy. He could get lost in it; but Shuusei focuses instead on the rainwater running down his arm and the sound of Hotsuma shifting his stance, a reminder of how having Hotsuma simply _here_ is always better than the alternative.

"The proprietress admitted it's a scam," Hotsuma finally says, words dragging the truth back into the fore. "As if wishes do anything."

Hotsuma's words settle the matter but Shuusei doesn't open his eyes, afraid of what his gaze might reveal. There's a hopelessness to the tales pulsing beneath his fingers that hits a little too close to home, reminiscent of his own fear to push Hotsuma too far. Shuusei yearns for the easy answers he can't afford to believe in, wanting nothing more than to bridge this lingering division between them; to erase the uncertainty of his own heart and the fear in Hotsuma's.

Instead, as the rain begins to lessen, Shuusei drops his hand and says, "You're right." It feels like admitting defeat and as he wipes his hand dry, Shuusei wonders how anyone can have hope, when he can't even grasp what's right in front of him.

When he opens his eyes, Hotsuma is giving him a sly grin. "I'm _what_ ," he goads, an easy arrogance settling in at Shuusei's words.

Shuusei rolls his eyes and pushes himself away from the railing. "Come on, we should return to Yuki and Sairi." He steps out into the night, picking his way back along the trail and trusting Hotsuma to follow.

"Hey!" Hotsuma shouts as Shuusei begins to walk away, "don't be a coward. Say it again!"

Shuusei turns, looking back at where Hotsuma still stands in the entrance to the gazebo. He wants to deny Hotsuma this small victory; to rest safe in the knowledge that his feelings will reach his partner one day. But Hotsuma's previous words ring true and Shuusei sighs, conceding. "You're right," he repeats, voice steady and void of the wistfulness he's feeling. "Now come on, let's get back to Yuki."

Hotsuma jumps off the gazebo's step, looking far too pleased with himself as he hurries to catch up with Shuusei. And if they're walking a bit too close, elbows knocking and fingers grazing, Shuusei lets it pass; still waiting for Hotsuma to acknowledge it first.


	3. jealousy

**iii.**

The day Himura-senpai threads her arm through the bend of Shuusei's elbow, jealousy burns white-hot in the pit of Hotsuma's stomach. He clenches a fist and watches the way her body melds into Shuusei's, easy and familiar, and realizes for the first time that his place at Shuusei's side is no longer certain. There have always been girls flitting about his partner, but Himura is the first to pose a threat - her bright smiles and easy laughs suddenly standing out from the rest.

Hotsuma watches the pair from his vantage point on the first years' floor, and tells himself that he _doesn't_ _care_. Shuusei is seventeen and popular; if he wants to date, nobody is going to stop him. Takashiro thinks normalcy is good for them but to Hotsuma, dating seems irresponsible - a misstep in priorities. Besides which, Himura doesn't even match Shuusei. She's too talkative and not the steady, quiet type Hotsuma expected his friend to favour.

"Hotsuma?"

Tsukumo breaks Hotsuma free of his thoughts, stepping into place beside him and glancing out the window. The way Tsukumo's eyes soften in understanding makes Hotsuma bristle, jealousy forgotten as anger rises.

"As if he has time to date," Hotsuma mutters, turning away from the scene and storming down the hallway. "It's better not to get involved if he's just going to break her heart later."

"Maybe it's not serious?" Tsukumo muses as they walk, head tilted in thought. "Or maybe she reminds him of someone?"

"Well, he doesn't have to _date_ her," replies Hotsuma with a frown, trying to think if Himura resembles someone from their past. "Whatever," Hotsuma grumbles when his mind draws a blank, "making her cry'll be Shuusei's problem."

They walk in silence to the school gates, but Hotsuma can sense the way Tsukumo keeps glancing at him, as if the other Zweilt has more to say. "What?" He finally snaps, and Tsukumo smiles far too brightly at Hotsuma's prickly tone, reaching out to touch his arm.

"Let's go this way. There's a good ice cream shop a couple blocks away."

Hotsuma blinks, anger evaporating as quickly as it appeared. "Ice cream?" he repeats, caught by the sudden change in topic.

Tsukumo nods eagerly, hands already steering Hotsuma in the right direction. "Tooko-chan says ice cream is the best remedy for a broken heart."

It takes half a block for Tsukumo's words to sink in, but when they do, Hotsuma's pace grinds to a halt, mouth stumbling over his words.

"Who the _hell_ is heartbroken?"


	4. happiness is

**iv.**

It was meant as a gift, but sometimes it feels like a curse.

Shuusei lies in bed and stares at the ceiling, mind dwelling on the memory he can never shake; the one his past self tucked carefully away, folding into the fabric of his soul. She was happy, that much Shuusei understands, and for a Zweilt true happiness is rare – marrying your soulmate even more so. Yet there are days he thinks of undoing her carefully woven barrier, knowing he can cut the memory loose forever if he wanted. Except in the end, he can never betray her kindness.

Closing his eyes, Shuusei surrenders himself to the dream-like vision again. She lays curled in bed, reaching out to stroke Hotsuma's cheek – mind still humming from the wedding celebration. Shuusei recognizes the joy in Hotsuma's expression, but the affection in his eyes is more tender and intimate than anything Shuusei has seen in their lives since, and that loss always makes him ache.

"You're so beautiful," Hotsuma whispers, leaning in and kissing her softly - hand curving round the naked jut of her hipbone. "I can't believe they let me have you."

"You've always had me," Shuusei hears her whisper back, and she leans in closer, until their bodies press together. There's a rustle of bedding as Hotsuma draws her in, and she settles happily atop his body, straddling the width of Hotsuma's hips. "Hotsuma," she murmurs, and her hair falls over her shoulder when she leans forward, hands caressing his abdomen before coming to rest on his chest.

They lay poised like that for a heartbeat, as if neither is sure of how to proceed. Shuusei is never surprised when she's the one who closes the gap between them; captures Hotsuma's mouth and slowly teases him into readiness. The curiosity and hunger on Hotsuma's face always makes Shuusei wonder how long Hotsuma dreamed of this, his pleasure too easy to read.

"You're so beautiful," Hotsuma repeats, propped up now on his elbows. His cheeks flush as he watches her slot their bodies together, eyes still soft and wanting. "Shuusei," he whispers as she lets out a gasp, his hand coming up to steady her, "my beautiful, beautiful Shuusei."

"Stop saying that," she chastises, embarrassed but pleased. Hotsuma shoots her a grin.

"I'm going to keep saying it. Again, and again, and again …"

Shuusei sits up abruptly, feeling vaguely ill as he tries to shake the memory away. He knows how this story ends; the failed pregnancies and growing rift, the clan made privy to their personal affairs. She was happy but it didn't last - and most nights Shuusei runs from her gift, scared to let history repeat.

He turns and sets his feet on the floor, prepared to leave sleep behind for the night when Hotsuma shifts next to him, blinking bleary eyes open in confusion.

"Shuusei? Wha-?" Hotsuma rubs at his eyes, the mattress shifting as he collects his sprawl of limbs. But Shuusei reaches out and stills him with a touch of his hand.

"It's fine. Go back to sleep."

Even in the haze of sleep, the stubborn set of Hotsuma's jaw is evident. "Where'ya going?"

Shuusei puts on a smile and folds one knee on top of the mattress, leaning in. "I won't be gone long. You insisted on sleeping here, so sleep."

"But-"

Shuusei reaches out and touches Hotsuma's cheek, fingers cool against Hotsuma's skin. "I'm just going to get some water," he murmurs, used to reassuring his partner – of easing his fears with half-truths and smiles. And he wonders if she did the same, slipping away to be alone with her worries. "I'll be right back."

Hotsuma's awareness is fading away, muscles relaxing with each reassurance from Shuusei. And his hand creeps out sleepily between them, pinky finger poised upright.

"Promise?"

A genuine smile threatens to break across Shuusei's face. He lets out a soft snort of laughter, reaching out to hook Hotsuma's finger with his own. "Promise."

"Good," Hotsuma mumbles, words getting lost as he turns into the pillow. His grip on Shuusei's hand slackens, and Shuusei untangles their fingers before carefully pushing himself off the bed.

He creeps across the floor, steps light so as not to disturb Hotsuma again. But as Shuusei goes to open the bedroom door, Hotsuma rolls over; his next words spoken clearly.

"... always sleep better when you're here."

Shuusei freezes, hand curled around the door knob. The mansion is silent around them except for the ticking of the grandfather clock downstairs, and he closes his eyes and counts the seconds as they pass, trying not to bend to Hotsuma's sleep-laden rambling. But he catches his name in Hotsuma's continued murmur, his partner tossing restlessly – as if he can sense that Shuusei is no longer there.

With a small sigh, Shuusei turns and pads back across the floor. He tugs the blanket up around Hotsuma's shoulders, letting his hand brush across Hotsuma's forehead in an effort to comfort his partner. "Really," he says softly as Hotsuma stills again, head lulling into the warmth of Shuusei's touch, "you're so easy to please."

And maybe that's the secret; the message that Shuusei is meant to divine from her memory. As he curls beside Hotsuma on the mattress again, Shuusei wonders what memory he'd impart to a future reincarnation – and decides that it would be something simple. Not the horrors of the fire or the years of anguish that followed, but a memory of Hotsuma's smile as he looked only at Shuusei.

Simple, but happy.


	5. sleeping beauty

**v. Set during chapters 51-55**

Hotsuma keeps touching Shuusei just to feel that he's alive.

He reaches out and curls his fingers around Shuusei's wrist, checking for the faint thump of Shuusei's heartbeat echoing through his veins. It's improved in the last hour, as Yuki works silently on Shuusei's injuries. Beneath Hotsuma's touch, Shuusei's life force is stronger now – his pulse steady and sure, and the colour returning to his cheeks.

He's still sleeping though, and the tension doesn't drain from Hotsuma's body until Yuki finally sits back and smiles at him gently.

"He'll be okay, Hotsuma."

Hotsuma curls his fingers tighter, clinging to the steady _thump thump thump_ of Shuusei's pulse. There is weariness in Yuki's eyes, and his words are still soft – said without great conviction. It makes Hotsuma wonder if Yuki is trying to weave his own spell; to will Shuusei's recovery as desperately as Hotsuma is, the words repeating over and over again in his mind.

 _Please come back to me._

"Thanks," Hotsuma says as Yuki stands, jumping to his own feet when Yuki sways unsteadily. He grabs Yuki's shoulders, unable to hold back a bark of worry as Yuki teeters again. "Hey, take it easy."

"I'm all right." Yuki forces a smile. "I just need to rest."

"Don't push yourself so hard. Shuusei wouldn't want –"

Hotsuma's words trail off, unable to voice what they both know is true. Shuusei understands that Yuki is worth more to them than anyone else in this war, and its that self-sacrificing attitude that pisses Hotsuma off. He still can't shake the fear that's burrowed into his heart since the last time Shuusei vanished; the panic all encompassing even if he's learning to push it aside.

 _Don't ever doubt._

"I'm all right," Yuki repeats, laying his own hand over Hotsuma's when the silence stretches on for too long. And Yuki must sense the conflict in Hotsuma's mind, because he guides Hotsuma's hands away from his shoulders and motions toward Shuusei. "Don't worry about me when you're needed here."

Hotsuma wants to protest – he can take care of them both, damn it – but the door slides open and Luka appears, as if he's sensed something amiss.

Luka's gaze is cool as always, landing briefly on Hotsuma before it fixes on Shuusei. For a minute, Luka simply looks on in assessment. Then his eyes move sharply to Yuki, expression hardening in concern.

"Come with me, Yuki."

Yuki smiles at Hotsuma one last time before turning to follow Luka, and Hotsuma lets them leave without another word – knowing he must leave Yuki in Luka's care. It's not how he prefers it, but there are battles that can't be won. Not when Shuusei still lies comatose, the situation eerily familiar to the last time Hotsuma nearly lost his partner.

"Shuusei, hey." Hotsuma drops to his knees again and grasps Shuusei's hand, holding it between his own and trying to warm the chill that's crept into Shuusei's fingers. "You can hear me, right? Just hang in there a little longer."

He bows his head and presses his lips to the back of Shuusei's hand, unsure of what else he can do. Hotsuma's talent isn't as useful as Yuki's, but he calls on it now with all his strength, letting his heart swell with the emotions only Shuusei can coax from his heart.

"Open your eyes for me, Shuusei. Let me know you're okay."

If this were a game, the damsel would open her eyes now and leap from her bed to thank the hero. Even though Hotsuma knows Shuusei is no damsel, he still can't help but feel disappointed when his plea is met with continued silence.

Hotsuma sighs, releasing Shuusei's hand and leaning back on his palms. He _is_ reassured; knows that the rise and fall of Shuusei's chest at least proves his partner is still in there. But the recovery is making Hotsuma impatient. Finding Shuusei is no longer enough. Hotsuma wants to hear him, too.

"Look at me," Hotsuma murmurs again, unable to quiet his desperate wish.

But for now, Shuusei simply sleeps on.


End file.
